


The Truth Shall Set You Free

by Ziam_Time



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Anxiety, Fluff, M/M, OT5, Reunion, Truth
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-26
Updated: 2018-05-26
Packaged: 2019-05-14 01:15:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,764
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14759799
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ziam_Time/pseuds/Ziam_Time
Summary: Zayn Malik cancels his very first public performance as a solo artist and cites ‘anxiety’ as the reason. Liam helps Zayn reveal ‘The Truth’ to the other boys of 1D, after a year of silence.





	The Truth Shall Set You Free

**Author's Note:**

> No offence to anyone but this is just my version of what happened! No intention to belittle anyone with anxiety, least of all Zayn. It’s only a fic, my very first one at that, 6 months into the fandom.
> 
> Massive thanks to the gorgeous Reema for being my beta.  
> Kudos and comments are always appreciated!

 

DJ Malik:

 

The second the car stopped in his driveway, he jumped out, and literally raced up the steps to his parents’ house (the utterly gorgeous one he had bought for them). Just as he reached the huge, sturdy oak door, it was thrown open and Tricia pulled him into her arms.

 

Finally, Zayn released the breath, he hadn't realized he had been holding, felt the nerves settle, pulse slowing down to a steady beat, eyes closed, allowing the silent tears to finally spill over. He simply folded into his mum's hug like molten lava, breathing in the scent of spices and sandal.

 

Tricia comforted him, whispering softly in his ear "Oh Jaan, it's okay, you'll be okay, shhhh sunshine. I love you. We all love you, you know... shhhh."

 

Zayn felt a strong hand on his back, slowly rubbing up and down. No matter how much you think you've achieved or earned in life, there is no better feeling than being supported by your parents. Nothing felt safer than a dad's arms. He turned then eyes still closed, and snuggled into Yaser's strong, broad chest. His dad was silent, but continued to stroke his back, until his eyes became dry and Zayn stopped clinging so tightly to his shirt.

 

As the flood of tears stopped, Zayn heard the soft sniffles and became slowly aware that Tricia was silently shushing someone behind him. He let go of Yaser and turned with open arms, as two young girls hurtled into his arms.

 

Safaa, his youngest sister, climbed Zayn like a monkey and wrapped her arms around his neck snuffling into his neck. Waliyah, too old now to carry but still his favourite to tease, had her slender arms around his waist from the other side, reaching up to kiss his cheek. Wali's eyes were damp and her lashes were stuck to each other, trying to be all brave and grownup.

 

Safaa was bawling openly, seeing her big bro was obviously upset about something. She didn’t understand much, just that Zayn was supposed to perform on stage, all by himself, in the very first show after he had left Liam (he left the band, but she didn’t care about that, really!), but, he hadn’t performed and had become sad, and now everyone was crying!

 

Zayn just held them both as close as he could and kept dropping tiny pecks on Saf's head and Wali's forehead. He spotted his parents hugging each other with a soft, sad smile. He couldn't stand it. He was completely overwhelmed with their unconditional love, and all these inadequate feelings bubbling inside him and knew there was no way he could keep it together for much longer.

 

Gently, Yaser took Saf into his arms as Wali was pulled in by Tricia, and Zayn with his head bowed and avoiding their eyes (he just didn’t want to see any sympathy), backed up until he felt the last step of their stairwell.

 

He turned and ran up, taking two steps at a time, and literally ran through the hallway, into his room. Just before he closed the door behind him, Zayn heard Tricia call out, "Come down for dinner whenever you want, sunshine".

 

***

 

On his way back home from the Capital event, in the car, Zayn had sent a single text to an old group chat which he hadn't been able to leave or delete in the past year, and surprisingly hadn’t been kicked out of. Through his blurry vision, finger shaking, he had managed to type out, "I'm so sorry. I couldn't do it without you. I'm so, so, so very sorry. I miss you. I miss all of you." He had pressed 'send' before he could overthink it, even as he felt his heart tighten uncomfortably, with the unspoken words and unshed tears of the past year. He had also felt compelled to send a msg to Liam, "I'm okay Li. Please take care of Ruth. I’ll explain everything later. I'll see you tomorrow. I love you, meri jaan."

 

He had switched off his phone after that. He knew Liam would be tied up at Ruth's reception and Zayn didn’t want to risk calling him; Zayn would have just begged Li pathetically, to come home immediately. Liam was his solace, his comfort, his saving grace, whenever things went downhill. Liam was scheduled to come back the next day and Zayn vowed to hold it together until then!

 

***

 

Kicking off his shoes, just inside his bedroom door and throwing his jacket over the couch, Zayn collapsed on his huge king-size bed. The enormity of the past few hours and all that had happened was catching up with him and he longed for the only one who could make him feel better. Right now, Zayn felt as if Liam's pillow was his only anchor in the raging sea of his emotions.

 

He tugged the pillow from Liam's side of the bed and hugged it close burying his nose in and inhaling deeply. It had been 4 days, only 4 days, since Liam had gone off to Wolverhampton (after spending a glorious 3 days with him), because Ruth (Zayn's favourite Payne sis) was getting married. It was killing him that he could not be there. Ruth had pleaded, with wet eyes and an indignantly raised voice, as Liam and Zayn held her tightly from each side, but, the higher-ups hadn't budged!

 

He didn’t want to think of his boys (yes, they will always be 'his' boys though he hadn't told them anything yet!), or how they’d react, it was too painful. He longed for Lou's smack on his head, before a smile and a tight hug; just like the time Zayn had confessed to Louis about Liam, and how he was afraid to tell him he had fallen hard and fast for the gorgeous naive lad from Wolverhampton! He missed Harry's silent support and acceptance of everything and his mischievous ribbing of Ziam (sometimes, Zayn felt he was living vicariously thanks to their social media fans!) and even his gross herbal drinks. Most of all, he was upset that he had left his lil' bro Niall, who openly adored Zayn!

 

What hurt most was he had left without as much as a goodbye (leave alone an explanation) to any of them, except Liam of course! Liam was still upset, that Zayn had not explained to the boys what was really going on! Zayn felt he wouldn’t be able to leave, if they all knew the truth! He much preferred, to be perceived as selfish, believed to be a bad boy, and even wanting a solo career, more than his band and his boys!

 

The terms had been non-negotiable as he had explained to Liam, with an obvious waver. Liam was trembling in his arms with his uncontrollable tears soaking Zayn’s shirt! It was all in black and white. They needed publicity. Only Zayn was most likely to succeed with a solo album or 3! They needed bad blood between Zayn and the boys and eventually more publicity! They would pit Zayn against the rest of the band and vice versa. They would handle the stunts, beards etc! Zayn had to wait for a couple of years and then they would bring them back together with way more publicity than ever before.

 

If Zayn didn’t agree, they would cut OTRA short and terminate the band's agreement. He had no doubt that management was capable of this and much more. Zayn had zoned out after that, knowing in an instant what he had to do to protect his boys!

 

Liam may well be Daddy Direction, but Zayn had always been fiercely protective of his friends, Liam especially. He could not allow the light to go out of Nialler's brilliant eyes or Louis mischievous blues or Harry's gorgeous greens! He certainly would not allow Liam's dream to die! The two boys may have unwittingly started their journey together over a big mac and coke, but they would certainly continue way into the future, if he has anything to say about it!

 

 

The so-called bosses could pit them against each other all they want but if they thought Zayn would perform by himself, while his boys were on a hiatus, aha, they had a second think coming!

 

***

 

Earlier that day, Liam had sent him a few pictures from Ruth's wedding (though he must've been so busy himself) and a selfie with a kissy face, stating he missed Zayn! Liam had looked so stunning, like a gorgeous prince, Zayn literally gasped with pride and love for this amazing boy who was his entire world. Karen, Geoff and Nic had looked so happy and Ruth and Tom positively glowing. He tried his best not to roll his eyes and laugh at Cheryl's outfit!

 

Zayn felt so proud of Ruth, having spoken her through quite a few moments of self-doubt and depression eating. He had helped her stick to her diet and workouts with frequent surprise visits and even joining her gym sessions a few times! He smiled soflty as he remembered bribing her with an entire wardrobe of his merch, once when she refused to lose weight for the wedding ("I don’t care if I'm fat or if the dress doesn't fit, I can’t do this anymore, Zaynie!) and threatened to polish off an entire large pepperoni pizza!

 

A few mins before he was supposed to go on stage, just as he was scrolling through the pictures of Liam, and ogling and missing his jaan like a limb, Zayn had his 'Eureka' moment! Performance anxiety! Large crowd! Post on social media! Genius! How are they ever gonna know the truth, he internally smirked!

 

ZAYN JUST HAS TO WAIT! HE CAN DO IT! Sigh! Sigh! Sigh!

 

Liam would know! Liam always knows! Liam was going to kill him for not performing! Damn! Damn! Damn!

 

***

 

Zayn rolled to the side, his back to the door, hugging Liam's massive pillow and heaved a huge sigh, breathing in Liam's unique scent like a needy puppy! Could tomorrow (and Liam hopefully) come already?

 

 

DJ Payno:

 

After the 3-day bliss of Zaynie's loving and gorging on Tricia’s samosas, curry & biryani, and Zayn's adorable sisters’ fawning, the past 4 days in Wolverhampton had been a mad rush to help his family for Ruth's wedding to Tom.

 

He had gone with Zayn and Ruth to London a few days ago to meet Simon & the management team. Zayn had to, somehow, get out of the Capital performance, if he wanted to attend Ruth's wedding! They had left dejected and with no positive answer after an hour of pleading and fighting! Ruth was indignant "I will allow Cheryl at my wedding, only if Zayn can be at the wedding or at least the reception." They left with the promise that Cheryl will only be present, at the reception, for a few pics with Liam and/or his family, then leave immediately. She will not attend any of the main events; but, no, Zayn could not attend!

 

Throughout the drive back, Liam had slipped his fingers into Zayn's hand and gripped tightly as he watched Zayn with an arm around Cheryl promising he'll be with her in spirit the entire time. Liam had fondly agreed to send all the pics, through the wedding, to Zayn as soon as he takes them. Zayn

 

turned slightly leaning his back against Liam’s chest as he snuck in deeper into his embrace and Liam stated nuzzling his neck, just like a puppy! Ruth huffed, “Seriously, I’m still here, you know!” They had both snickered and Zayn had pulled her hard into their arms, both smothering her with affection.

 

***

 

Today had been so challenging for Liam. He could not be with Zayn for his first massive public solo performance! Ruth was getting married! He had to take pics with Cheryl! He could not go back to Zayn until tomorrow because the reception was bound to go on until the wee hours of the morning and he had to send off Ruth and Tom the next morning, on his private jet, for their week-long Spanish vacation (Zayn's wedding gift).

 

Once the actual wedding was over, Paddy pulled him outside glumly! Liam managed not to gape at the 'gown' and after the 3 or 4 obligatory pics with Cheryl, he left Paddy to deal with her. As he sent off a "Gooooood Luckkk Babyyy! Smash it today, my beautiful baddd boyyy from Bradford!" followed by a few kissy-face emojis, he decided to send Cheryl’s picture as well to put a smirk on Zayn's face! He knew Zayn would be nervous before the performance.

 

He wished again for the millionth time that Zayn had allowed him to tell the boys the truth! They could have been there for him! He was going to catch up with the boys in their London home, next weekend. Meanwhile, Liam planned on working on Zayn some more, to come out with the truth and meet the boys! Zayn adamantly (though sadly) felt it was easier this way. God knows why, Liam thinks frustrated! The boys were going to kill Zayn when they found out! They all missed Zayn in their own way!

 

Niall had become better at hiding his fan boy adoration of Zayn behind a shield of practised nonchalance! Harry had hardened overnight and totally avoided talking about Zayn. Louis was the most affected, and let it all unleash on twitter, but mostly he felt betrayed. Of course, they all felt worse because of the way Liam pined over Zayn on tour, missing him and openly crying on stage, a few times! C'mon he's only human! Anyway, Liam did not even try to hide his pain! Most of the fans knew about him and his boyfriend and even supported 'Ziam'. All the boys creeped on twitter constantly.

 

The boys never asked for details, but they were extremely happy that Liam and Zayn were okay. They all loved Liam and hated to see him unhappy. They just chose to ignore Zayn's solo journey.

 

Sigh! Liam had to get Zayn to speak to the boys!

 

At the reception, as he was about to toast Ruth and Tom, his phone buzzed a few times in his pocket and he quickly unlocked it.

 

Niall: Where’re you? Is the wedding over? What the hell is happening? I don’t understand Payno!

Harry: Why is he sorry? Why now? What does he mean?

 

Louis: Can u believe that &^$%#$%&*? Anxiety! What a load of absolute crap!

Niall: Why is he sorry? Tell me he's okay, please.

Louis: Are you with him? Wedding done?

Harry: What did I miss?

 

Liam was absolutely confounded, wondering if the boys were drinking together and playing a prank on him! Louis would for sure, knowing full well that he was at the wedding!

 

They could all just go to hell! He didn’t have time to respond.

 

Toast done, ignoring the buzzing, cake cut, pics taken, still ignoring the buzzing.

 

Ruth and Tom had their first dance to Liam's special song for them. The buzzing was more than annoying now! Liam pulled out his phone to switch it off, when his eyes widened comically!

 

18 missed calls. 27 unread messages. All in the past 10 minutes, from just his boys! One message from Safaa Malik! He did a double take. Wait! What? Obviously, he opened that one first.

 

Saf: Leeeeeyum, where are you? Please come home Lili? Bhai is crying!

 

Liam felt his heart constrict, and the air around him was suddenly not enough. He swiftly weaved a path through the tables and guests and went out in the open. He pushed #1 on his speed dial. Zayn’s phone was switched off! With a feeling of dread, he dialled Louis.

 

Within a couple of minutes of calling Louis, it was clear to Liam, what Zayn had chosen to do! He was going to kill him, then kiss him, but first, KILL him! He knew where he had to be! The rest of the world could wait, or not! Liam didn’t care!

 

Liam promised to call Louis and the other two boys via a conference call within the next 15 minutes. He would explain everything then. It was time to break some rules, albeit Zayn’s. Meanwhile, could they all please come to Bradford. “Trust me Lou! Please! I need you guys to come now!” he pleaded.

 

Liam turned around to go back inside and found Paddy a few steps away from him. He had never been this grateful for his faithful friend and bodyguard, as he was at this moment. "Leaving in 5. Zayn." is all he had to say. Apparently, the boys had got through to Paddy!

 

Liam rushed in and headed straight to Ruth who was chatting with Tom's friends. He managed to pull her aside and quickly explained. Liam had never seen his sister so mad! He thought she would be upset! "That bloody, stubborn idiot. Go to him Liam and kill him for me! Go now! He needs you!" Liam hugged her with a silent apology, but Ruth brushed it off with "Don't you dare apologise Li. He's my brother too; but, go kill him!" Liam gave her a soft peck on her cheek and was about to leave when Ruth tugged him back and whispered "give him a hug from me and tell him I'm so proud of him. Call me once you reach, yeah."

 

Liam found Karen and Geoff with Nicola and after a quick explanation; all he had to say was "Zayn needs me. You guys take care of Ruth and Tom tomorrow". Karen hugged him tight with tears (no surprise there, everyone knew Zayn was her favourite) and said "Tell him we love him Liam. Call us once you reach, you hear."

 

Thanks to Paddy, Liam managed to escape the ever-prying eyes of the paparazzi and slid into his Range Rover. He hadn't realised how much he had been shaking. The adrenaline was still high. All he wanted was to hold Zayn and never let go! Oh yeah! Probably, kill him first, then hold him!

 

Paddy slid him a bottle of water. Liam smiled gratefully and drank the whole bottle. In a few minutes, he was feeling better enough to make the dreaded call to the boys. He put the three of them on conference, asked them to please not interrupt until he was done and as quickly as he could explain the whole sordid story.

 

For nearly 30 seconds, there was silence, then the barrage of questions and the creative yelling began. After 15 minutes, Liam apologised and asked where they were. They were all on their way, of course. Liam had never felt prouder of his boys! Lou and Hazza will reach Bradford in 2 hours and Ni would reach about 10-15 minutes after them.

 

 

Liam roughly ran his fingers through his hair and realised he was still dressed in all the wedding finery! He simply removed the buttons of the blue pea coat and settled back to read the messages.

 

He was mortified when he realised he hadn't answered Safaa and called her at once. She answered on the first ring, with soft sobs, "Liam, Liam, Leeyummmm, where are you?"

 

"Ahhhhhh, s'ok baby girl. Am on my way. Please don’t cry. Bhai will be okay, yeah. I’ll be there in 20 mins. Uncle Paddy is flying my car". That brought a tiny giggle from his favourite amongst Zayn's

sisters.

 

"You're so silly Leeyum! How can he fly a car? Come soon, please." Liam gave Saf a noisy kiss over the phone. "Bhai's phone is switched off. Please tell your mum I'm on my way, yeah?" He disconnected.

 

He went on twitter and for the last part of the drive he read almost all the messages following Zayn's post. Li and Zee had a habit of following their true supporters, most of them with the 'ziam' handle! He noticed that many of them were wondering if Zayn was at Ruth’s wedding. Others demanded that Liam go to Zayn at once, to help with his anxiety. Also, he was stunned to see Zouis, Zarry and Ziall pics and messages. The boys absolutely loved their fans! If only he could tell the whole truth to all their fans!

 

Paddy reached Zayn's house in record time. With a quick wave, Liam said, "The boys will be here soon. You can go back if you want Paddy. I’ll call you in a few days, if I need you." Paddy smiled softly and mumbled, "Finally. I’ll wait for the boys. I'll be here, Liam. You go take care of your boy now."

 

Liam ran up the steps and rang the bell. In 3 secs, Saf opened the door. She clung to Liam, fresh tears falling from her already wet eyes, face smashing into his stomach. Tricia rushed up to Liam and hugged him from the side "Sweetheart, thank you. He needs you. Sorry you had to leave the wedding". Liam barely mumbled out "S'ok Tricia. Could not be anywhere else, right now". Gently Liam told Safaa that the boys will be there soon, but it was a surprise for Zayn. He reassured her that he'll come back down and get her in a few minutes, after he saw Zayn.

 

Tricia gave him a gentle push and Liam stumbled up the steps like a zombie was after him. He

ran through the corridor at the top of the staircase and skidded to a stop outside Zayn's door. He had never had to knock before, and he wasn't going to start now.

 

He turned the knob and pushed the door open softly and stepped inside Zayn's (their) bedroom shutting the door behind him noiselessly.

 

 

 

Zayn+Liam:

 

Liam's heart constricted at the sight of a curled-up Zayn, lying with his back towards him. He shrugged off his coat and brocaded waistcoat and draped them over Zayn's coat already on the couch. He stepped slowly to Zayn's side, unbuttoning the top few buttons and sliding to his knees on to the carpet by the bed, in front of Zayn.

 

 

Zayn smelt him even before he opened his eyes. Wryly, he thought he missed Liam so much that he was even imagining his smell! Li was with his family now, at his sister’s wedding. That’s when he felt that inimitable, soft stroke on his cheek, "Zaynieeee, babe"!

 

It would have been funny the speed with which Zayn reacted, if Liam's heart wasn't so heavy! Zayn's eyes shot wide open and his head snapped up off the pillow, back arching. It's a miracle! But really, he should have expected this! It's Liam! His Liam, for God's sake!

 

Zayn literally dragged Liam up on to the bed, as he tried to wrap his arms around him.

"Leeeeyumm, I'm so sorry, I'm sorry, so sor…" Liam shut him up with a firm kiss and quickly

kicked off his shoes, as he climbed onto the bed, throwing away the pillow, not breaking contact.

Zayn's arms were around Liam, holding on for dear life, as he sobbed into his mouth. Liam pulled

Zayn closer, one hand stroking his back gently and the other on the nape of his neck. His throat was

constricting and all he could do was tangle their legs, gently rocking Zayn. He managed to

 

croak out "Zee, I've got you. I've got you, love." Zayn shuddered silently with a fresh batch of

tears and heartache.

 

Liam continued to soothe him, "C'mon now, Zee. I'm soooo proud of you. Love you so much, baby!" They continued to rock for a few more minutes until Liam felt Zayn relax in his arms. Liam pulled him up and gently pulled his head back, until he could search his face. The tear tracks and puffy eyes made his heart skip a beat before he started peppering Zayn's face and neck with soft, tiny kisses. He couldn’t stand to see his soulmate so broken.

 

Zayn clutched his shirt with one fist, as if afraid that Liam would disappear into thin air if he let go. Finally, he managed "Leeyum, you crazy idiot! How did you...when... you came...Ruth, is she ok?"

 

“Hey, hey, hey, calm down Zee, Ruth is fine. She is flippin’ mad at you! She sent her love though. Mum sent a hug. They all said they were so proud of you. I’m sorry I didn’t see your message until much later, babe. Saf sent me a message as well. I nearly had a heart attack. The boys called me.”

 

Liam paused for a moment to take a breath, as Zayn tried to wrap his head around all that Li had said. As Zayn gazed up again, he saw Liam’s wide smile, and his crinkly eyes sparkling with something like, pride?

 

“You finally sent them a message. I can’t believe you! You really meant that tattoo, huh? Don’t think I won’t!” said Liam, slipping his fingers under Zayn’s shirt and softly stroking along the tattoo.

 

Zayn flushed and dipped his head into Liam’s neck. Liam was having none of that! He pushed up Zayn’s chin, tenderly caressing a cheek with his thumb, “I am so very proud of you, Zayn. I cannot even begin to tell you how I felt, when the boys read out your message. Almost like the past year had never happened”.

 

Liam saw the pain flicker in his eyes just before Zayn closed them. He quickly pressed two soft kisses on his eyelids and waited until Zayn opened his sad eyes. He asked feebly, “I know they’re mad. Did you explain anything at all, though I can’t even understand fully myself!”

 

“It’s going to be okay love. I promise. Trust me.” was all Liam was willing to concede.

 

“Now, I’m going to call my mum, okay?” before Zayn could stop him, Liam held the phone to Zayn’s ear, so he could continue clinging to Liam. All things considered, Zayn had a lovely chat with Ruth and later Karen, apologizing profusely for Liam leaving the wedding, letting them down by not performing, reassuring them that he was okay now, and they, Liam and Zayn will visit them as soon as possible.

 

Zayn felt much lighter, after the few tears (from Karen obviously) and few harsh words (from Ruth, of course) followed by the undeniable love from both, which warmed him up like a thick woolen blanket in the beginning of winter.

 

Liam spread his legs, and pulled Zayn in closer, head on his chest. He just continued to cuddle Zayn as he told him about the wedding. He idly stroked a hand on Zayn’s lower back, holding him close, with the other hand rubbing tenderly at his nape, sliding over his scalp. He continued to drop tiny kisses on the top of his head. Zayn felt completely boneless but overwhelmingly happy, safely ensconced in Liam’s arms.

 

As Liam was talking about the song he and Zayn had written for Ruth, he felt his phone vibrate in his pocket. He pulled it out quickly to confirm (behind Zayn’s back) that it was a text from Niall, “We are here. Will meet Tricia and come up in 2 mins.”

 

Liam pulled Zayn up for a soft kiss, pulling back slightly when Zee wanted to deepen it. “Babe, I promised Saf that you’ll be fine, and I’ll bring her up in a few minutes to see you. She is so worried about you. Lemme go get her, yeah?” Zayn grumbled at having to let Liam go, though his heart swelled with fondness at his thoughtfulness.

 

“Okay okay, I’ll come down with you. We’ll see all of them, then come back up soon, okay. I missed you, meri jaan.” Liam pressed a hard, heartfelt smooch on his lips and in one smooth move, pulled Zayn up along with him as he got off the bed. “My Superman” Zayn teased.

 

Liam pulled along a reluctant Zayn, with a firm hand around his waist, and unlocked the door.

 

“Where is that bloody mad bad boy. I’m in the mood for murder today!” Louis literally barked into Zayn’s face.

 

“C’mon Lou, you love him too much for that! Hey babe, I’ve missed you. I’m upset too but I’m gonna let you make it up to me”, Harry softly chided.

 

“Get in line Louis. I get to kill the bugger first!” said Niall, loud and amused.

 

Zayn had never been as awestruck and dumbstruck, as at that moment, his knees buckled with the unexpectedness of it all. Seeing all his boys here, now, after so long, too long, he nearly slumped to the floor and would have fallen if not for Liam’s strong hold on him.

 

They were both tackled to the thickly carpeted floor by the other three boys, Liam cushioning his fall wrapping his arms firmly around his stomach. Louis and Niall were on either side of him and Harry in the middle, right on top of him. He felt the breath whoosh out of him but had never felt better than he did right then. Wrapped safe in Liam’s arms and hugged nearly to death by the forgiving arms and legs of all his brothers, his boys.

 

The reality of it all sunk in and Zayn somehow pushed his arms out of the floor huddle and tried to hug all three boys close to him. He simply closed his eyes, not even attempting to stem the flow of tears, breathing their different unique smells, a wonderfully poignant mix of food, fruit, flower, and of course, smoke. It felt just like the beginning, way back when all 5 of them always huddled into a single room, a single bunk, a single couch all limbs tangled, staying connected, always. Oh! How he had missed the boys!

 

Zayn knew he had a truckload of answers to give and more than a truckload of abuse to receive, from all three, especially Louis! Yet, he refused to budge; for now, he just needed this connection.

 

Liam bearing the brunt of the combined weight of all four boys, tried his best to coax them to get up from the carpet, and off him. He literally was out of breath though and he could feel Zayn’s sobs on his chest. They all just needed to talk, cuddle but talk!

 

Louis as usual took the lead, holding on to Zayn’s hand, as he tugged Harry up with him. Zayn was dragged up, as well as Ni, and with a final push from Liam, all of them successfully stumbled to their feet.

 

Zayn was pulled in roughly into Harry’s chest, dampening it instantly, with Lou and Ni dragging them both to the huge couch in Zayn’s room, the one Liam had helped him select.

 

Liam gently slid his arms from around Zayn and tried to give the others some room. Zayn felt the loss immediately, jerking his head up with wide, watery eyes, “Leeyum? Don’t leave!”

 

Liam had never seen Zayn so unsure of himself. His heart broke a little at the sight. He just sat on the carpet, pulling up one of his knees and cuddled Zayn in his arms again, dropping his chin to his shoulder and kissing his cheeks. The others just settled down next to them, flanked by Ni on one side and Lou with Harry on his lap, on the other.

 

“Awwww, look at you two.”

 

“You are worse than ever!”

 

“Do I have to see this? Again!” varying protests from around them made Li just grin widely as Zayn flushed a pretty shade of pink!

 

It took a good 20 minutes before Zayn (with Liam stepping in, when Zayn was too choked to speak) could properly explain the past year.

 

The boys bombarded him,

 

“How could you make that decision?”

 

“Why did you choose for us?”

 

“Why dint you even call any of us?”

 

“What in God’s name were you even thinking?”

 

“You never called? I still cannot believe you left without a goodbye?”

 

“Even after that God-awful war on twitter, you didn’t think to call me? I was devastated.”

 

Zayn just pulled Lou into his arms and held him close, despite his feeble protests.

 

“It wasn’t all me, not always. You know how it works. I couldn’t tell anyone. Not even my family, not even when my dad was so disappointed, believing that I had ditched all of you, selfishly, for a solo career. They didn’t want the girls to post anything, by mistake, about us being together. They only trusted Liam and even he had to stunt so much more. You know what happened there, anyway.”

 

Zayn continued earnestly, “Guys, I cannot get back the past year, but I promise, I’ll make it up to you.”

 

Niall muttered, “It would have all been worth it, if you had actually performed on stage today. I was logged in to watch you, daft idiot.”

 

Zayn just choked up at that, burying his head in Niall’s neck, “I’m so sorry, my lil’ bro. I know I disappointed you the most. I’m so sorry.” Niall patted his back, “Shut up. I love your songs. You’re such a sly dog. What a way to dedicate your songs to Li. Hmmmm? The fans are all in on it, by the way. Have you seen their comments?”

 

Louis smirked then, “S’ok, you know Zee. We knew you and Payno were secretly seeing each other and were happy and that was more important to us.”

 

Niall stage whispered, “You should have seen how he showed off all that bling, Cartier or summat! I swear he was worse than a girl, Zaynie!”

 

Liam shoved Niall off and pulled in Zayn again, “Hey, I didn’t. Get off him. He’s mine. Get your own Zayn!”

 

Harry who had hardly spoken asked curiously, “Zayn, why couldn’t you perform? What did you mean?”

 

Zayn took a deep breath and leaned back deeper into Liam’s arms. With an encouraging glance and reassuring kiss from Liam, he stated simply, “It just didn’t feel right without you guys. It was all based on lies. I could not go on that stage knowing that you were all unaware of what had happened. We are a team, you know. I hadn’t really slept for the past 4 days, plotting how to go about this. All I knew was I just would not perform without you. I had almost decided on just being a bumbling mess and messing up my songs or summat, but it wasn’t until a few minutes before the show that I realised what I could do.”

 

“What an absolute sap, Zaynie!” gasped Niall.

 

“Have you spoken to the bigwigs yet?” Louis knew better than anyone how management would react.

 

Zayn snickered, “Ha, switched off my phone. How are they gonna know the truth? Test me to see if my anxiety is real?”

 

He shrugged and continued, “I’ll deal with them later. If you guys choose to let them know we’re in touch again, I’m cool with it too. In fact, now would be a perfect time for them to seed it in the media. You guys showing support and stuff because of my anxiety and all that.”

 

Liam whispered into Zayn’s ear, “Babe, can you just hold on for a minute? Lemme get Saf, yeah? She is going to kill me otherwise.” Zayn turned in his arms, slipping his hands around Liam’s neck and gazed fondly into his beautiful soft brown eyes, “Love you so much, my jaan. Thank you.”

 

With a quick peck, and a full heart, Liam gladly let the other boys fall around Zayn, as he jumped up and left the room, ignoring their catcalls and coos.

 

He ran down the steps and found Saf on the last step with a hopeful and hesitant smile. Liam gathered her up into his arms and said, “Did you see the boys, baby girl? What did I tell you, hmm? Bhai is going to be okay.”

 

Safaa nodded excitedly and kissed Liam on both cheeks, and pouted, “I was in the kitchen when they arrived. I haven’t seen them yet. Can I come up to his room? I want to see bhaiya.”

 

Liam smiled wide until his eyes were just tiny slits with crinkles. He walked quickly to the kitchen to reassure the rest of Zayn’s family. He found Wali and Tricia at the stove, making Biryani! He laughed softly, “Haha, you knew Niall would eventually get hungry and want food. I missed your Biryani, mum.

 

She smiled at the sight of her youngest wrapped trustingly around Liam like a koala. “Aww love, you just had it 4 days ago. It will be ready in 30 minutes. You kids can come down, yeah?”

 

Liam went closer to her and whispered gently, “Your sunshine is good now”.

 

“Thank you so much Liam. You are his true strength, you know”, she hugged him quickly with Safaa squeezed in the middle, before sending him off. Liam quickly dropped a kiss on Wali’s forehead and ran out of the kitchen and up the stairs with Saf, making airplane noises! Wali giggled and Tricia simply shrugged fondly. They were used to Liam’s antics by now. He was an absolute fool for all the Maliks.

 

Just before entering Zayn’s room, Liam paused and earnestly said, “Hey Saf, thank you for letting me know, babe. Thank you for trusting me to come immediately.” She nodded sagely, “I love you Liam. Zayn loves you too.” He grinned happily and pushed open the door.

 

Safaa squealed in delight at the sight of the 4 boys on the carpet. She jumped into the huddle, trying to hug all of them at the same time.

 

Zayn said, “Whoa, whoa, slow down Saf. Oof, my stomach. They’re all here. You can hug them all you want. Harry can you hold her, please?”

 

Liam could not wipe the smile off his face, as he squeezed in behind Zayn, reclaiming his favourite spot, wrapping his arms tightly around his stomach. As Zayn turned for another nuzzle and a kiss, Liam could see the happiness radiating from his eyes.

 

After 3 whole minutes of cuddles from all the boys and especially Zayn, Safaa promptly got bored and ran out the door, screaming, “Mum said the biryani will be ready in 30 minutes.”

 

Niall whispered aloud, “Ah, Bless Tricia. By the way Zee, I missed your mum’s biryani more than I missed you.” Zayn could not even be offended by that and simply gave Ni another kiss on his cheek.

 

Niall pulled out his phone, “C’mon you guys let’s take a selfie. S’been too long.” The boys huddled closer, if it was even possible. At this point, it was practically impossible to tell which limb belonged to whom.

 

They all made faces and stuck out their tongues. Zayn had not done this in over a year. You could tell from the utter joy on his face as Liam kissed him for a few of the pictures. Harry hugged Lou and kissed him as well. Niall mumbled, “Gahhh, you lot are terrible! I need to find new band-mates, I swear!”

 

“Let’s take a proper one now lads.” We can all post it on twitter and the gram and let the fans help us handle management.”

 

The boys were still huddled close but with no kisses this time. Liam’s fingers were rubbing soothing circles on Zayn’s tummy. Louis and Harry had their tangled limbs out of view. Niall the captain, as always, angled the phone and took a picture of just their faces and shoulders, nearly cheek-to-cheek but all grinning widely! Just the one picture, but, as Liam would say, it was perrr-fect!

 

All it took was an instant to look at each other, for them to decide to do it immediately. They had wasted enough time already. They all posted it at once on their social media, with various captions.

 

Niall on twitter, “Missed my bro. Anxiety is not easy. Ask for help.”

 

Louis on twitter, “History is too strong. Zayn, we are with you man. Missed you.”

 

Harry on twitter, “Bros always and forever. Love you Z.”

 

Liam on Twitter and Instagram, “We are with you Zaynie. Every step of the way. Love you man, x”

 

Zayn on twitter, “Missed my boys. Thank you, Ni, Lou, Haz & Li. Love you, xx”

 

Almost instantly, they trended,

 

#1DIsBack

 

#ZiamIsReal

 

#LarryIsReal

 

They broke twitter!

 

Zayn knew then, knew it without a doubt. Everything was going to be okay. His boys were together at last. They could handle anything and anyone, now! The truth was out! They were FREE!

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading until the end. Drop by & talk to me via Twitter @Ziam_Time xx Chitra
> 
> If you are a die-hard Ziam-till-I-die fan, please do follow our group on Tumblr at theziamclub and on Twitter @The_Ziam_Club


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